(I was unpacking and found one of my devotionals with this entry. It was interesting to read what I was dealing with back then; not knowing I would be right where I am right now. The kids were 4 and 3 years old at the time. I was hmmm...six years younger ha!)
'There is a lot on my mind today. How am I suppose to get everything done? Here are the things swimming in my head:
1) Recording just one song is taking me hours. I really want to share more of my songs, but I don't have the time. I am embarrassed that I only have three posted on WorshiptheRock.com. Will people get bored listening to them? Are they good or great songs? Will they get tired of listening to me if I don't post anymore songs for awhile? Should I send them in to contests? When will I be able to have guitar recorded on them? Should I wait until Brian can play guitar or ask someone else to do it? Where can I find good drum loops on my keyboard? Should I take a break and focus on my family?
2) Preschool for Josh and Hannah at home. They need to get out and explore. They need to do learning things to keep their attention. Hannah is playing pretend almost all day. It is so hard for her to stop. It's hard for me to devert her attention to do something else. Am I going to loose it and put them in preschool anyway?
3) The house. The laundry is not done. There are dishes needing to be washed in the sink and on the stove. When will I get to mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors? The master bedroom needs serious attention. I need to dust all the cobwebs throughout the house.
4) The garage needs to be organized. Where are all those cute pants I saved for Hannah? Where are the overdue books from the library?
5) Pleasanton, CA. Are we going? Will we rent or buy a house? Will they pay for preschool? Will Brian be happy there? Does God know what He's doing? Of course He does. Why do we have to go there?
6) Finding time to rewrite songs, study the bible.
7) Christmas gifts. There are still people I need to buy for. Why do we spend so much on Christmas?
After reading what I've written I realize I am stressed and worried about the future. God, how do I give these heavy thoughts to you? What will you do with them? Will I fail if I don't get more of my songs out there? God I give You my burdens.'
